“I’m the cutest drug dealer on the block”

“Steal your neighbors pet, call that jackrabbit”

“I love the smell of no school”

“Power rangers go! How about no.”

“I would drive on the left side for you”

“It’s a chest toupee”

“You’re Snapchat famous!”

“My pee smells like omeletts”

“She had sophomore hair, though”

“She poked a hole in the assignment. Viva la resistance!”

“I was tired of Winter in, like, October”

“That was the whitest game I’ve ever seen, it was weird”

“The toaster’s clearly the hero of the story”

“If I sniff my computer will I get high?”

“We’re gonna bedazzle your coffin pink!”

“You might be big, but you fluffy”

“I’ve just reached a new level of lazy”

“I think all feet are ugly”

“Skinny jeans is like tights, I can’t run in ’em”

“Guys! I’m not confined to a cardboard box”